This is not my ceiling
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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