Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
