walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
