All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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