Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
