They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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