The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
