Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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