Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
