Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
