i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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