if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
