Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
