I think i peed on brittanys purse
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
