just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
