I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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