How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
