Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
