Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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