She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
