Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
