I accidentally burped into my bong.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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