the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
