Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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