I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
