So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
