I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
