there's paper in my vomit.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
