Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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