Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
