Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize