I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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