I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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