Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
