all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
