Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
