when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
