Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
