Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
