AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize