I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
