come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
