You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
