So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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