"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize