Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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