What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
