my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
