She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you would pick up someone in the library
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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