quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
