I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
