A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
should my penis look like a turkey
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
