I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
