I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
