love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
