He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
