Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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