it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
