Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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