Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i love accidental penises.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
